This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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