Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Dignity is for republicans.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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