Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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