if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
