my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
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