that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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