Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
