Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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