So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
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