My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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