I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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