she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
