If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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