Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
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