i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Randomize