Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
