think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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