Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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