Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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