I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
