he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Randomize