Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
