In America we eat man semen.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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