Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
