Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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