ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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