The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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