I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
