Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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