We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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