At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
