O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
