Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Damn victory sex feels great
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
