Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
