my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
