It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
