Buhtt sex?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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