Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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