Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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