smell my finger.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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