i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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