I accidentally burped into my bong.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
