There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
