remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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