it was like his penis was on wheels.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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