people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
