I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
