bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
