Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
do nipples grow back?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
