Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize