party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
