Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
