New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
