The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Will exercising make me less horny?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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