omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
