It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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