My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
