She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
