found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
