u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Randomize
