You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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