You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
21 People That Are Skilled At Illegal Activities
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.