I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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