we have pet lesbian snakes
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."