Texts From Last Night

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  (269): View more from Michigan

  3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall

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  (269) 3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall http://tfl.nu/8qr4
  Replies (7) Good night (1167) Bad night (2231)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.

  (214): View more from Texas

  so how much did i say i owed you?

  (972): View more from Texas

  $5 and a new fuck buddy.

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  (972): so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards. (214): so how much did i say i owed you? (972): $5 and a new fuck buddy. http://tfl.nu/zurg
  Replies (21) Good night (3393) Bad night (850)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere

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  (250): Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere http://tfl.nu/ftm6
  Replies (10) Good night (773) Bad night (3484)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.

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  (239): At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit. http://tfl.nu/fc4g
  Replies (35) Good night (9216) Bad night (807)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff

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  (303): I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff http://tfl.nu/0hbk
  Replies (2) Good night (2952) Bad night (903)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day

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  (360): Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day http://tfl.nu/ru8t
  Replies (30) Good night (1925) Bad night (4772)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.

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  (864): I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened. http://tfl.nu/5edl
  Replies (4) Good night (2689) Bad night (1237)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie

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  (612): Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie http://tfl.nu/901f
  Replies (4) Good night (2608) Bad night (893)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?

  (727): View more from Florida

  Only if you say it like that.

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  (321): I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend? (727): Only if you say it like that. http://tfl.nu/7x70
  Replies (5) Good night (1815) Bad night (792)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?

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  (541): the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel? http://tfl.nu/ufnb
  Replies (7) Good night (1584) Bad night (827)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.

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  (843): woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed. http://tfl.nu/bkzs
  Replies (8) Good night (1110) Bad night (679)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I think he's speaking German to me now

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly

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  (519): I think he's speaking German to me now (519): Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly http://tfl.nu/dbru
  Replies (1) Good night (965) Bad night (409)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.

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  (330): I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning. http://tfl.nu/se9h
  Replies (6) Good night (874) Bad night (304)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave

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  (305): She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave http://tfl.nu/26uf
  Replies (3) Good night (599) Bad night (231)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.

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  (406): Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve. http://tfl.nu/3mfl
  Replies (1) Good night (628) Bad night (132)

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