Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed

  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  you smoke with your eyes?

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  (203): i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed (787): you smoke with your eyes? http://tfl.nu/xom7
  Replies (8) Good night (2238) Bad night (973)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium

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  (763): I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium http://tfl.nu/c873
  Replies (10) Good night (4128) Bad night (1003)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.

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  (770): I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia. http://tfl.nu/25qr
  Replies (14) Good night (2511) Bad night (1233)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer

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  (712): Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer http://tfl.nu/7yso
  Replies (10) Good night (5365) Bad night (1122) Order T-Shirt
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.

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  (702): No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up. http://tfl.nu/ztp2
  Replies (14) Good night (8114) Bad night (652) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.

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  (609): he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it. http://tfl.nu/w24u
  Replies (18) Good night (1426) Bad night (6578) Order T-Shirt
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.

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  (763): Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking. http://tfl.nu/53g7
  Replies (9) Good night (3263) Bad night (903) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher

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  (516): i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher http://tfl.nu/pmh4
  Replies (5) Good night (2231) Bad night (888) Order T-Shirt
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  (805): View more from California

  I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.

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  (805): I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins. http://tfl.nu/apj9
  Replies (4) Good night (2897) Bad night (1455) Order T-Shirt
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?

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  (509): I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad? http://tfl.nu/r4ig
  Replies (14) Good night (1187) Bad night (1871) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized

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  (217): Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized http://tfl.nu/ymju
  Replies (7) Good night (1793) Bad night (671) Order T-Shirt
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.

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  (856): I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help. http://tfl.nu/4hfj
  Replies (1) Good night (452) Bad night (1305) Order T-Shirt
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  (661): View more from California

  im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom

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  (661): im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom http://tfl.nu/xude
  Replies (3) Good night (925) Bad night (579) Order T-Shirt
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  (530): View more from California

  they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(

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  (530): they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :( http://tfl.nu/bt8b
  Replies (2) Good night (703) Bad night (322) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol

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  (317): Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol http://tfl.nu/rsq8
  Replies (8) Good night (833) Bad night (176)

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