I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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