When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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