the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
