I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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