That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
