Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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