I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize