I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i drank out of a bidet.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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