dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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