Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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