Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
You're a waste of cheezeits
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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