I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
