he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
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Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
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Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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